[senco-forum] Monday funny. (Probably best avoided if in throes of divorce for adultery.)

I don't THINK this could offend people.  Here goes:
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom  
making love to a very attractive young woman. The wife was VERY upset!
"You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to  
me? a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I  
want a divorce straight away!"
And he replied: "Hang on just a minute luv, so at least I can tell  
you what
happened"

"Fine, go ahead", she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll  
say to me!"

And he began: "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and  
this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out  
and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I  
noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She  
told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I  
brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last  
night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on  
weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up I suggested a shower and while she was
doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I  
threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer  
jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you  
say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your  
anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good  
taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you  
don't wear just to annoy her and I also donated those boots you  
bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at  
work has a pair like them.."

He took a quick breath and continued: "She was so grateful for my  
understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to  
me with tears in her eyes and said 'Please........do you have  
anything else that your wife doesn't use?'"