[senco-forum] Death

From: "Ruth Newbury" <rmnewbury at ntlworld.com>

Totally agree - often it is hard to abide by the wishes of someone who knows 
they are dying, but if we negate that wish we are taking away part of the 
little they have left.

June

>From: "Ruth Newbury" <rmnewbury at ntlworld.com>
>To: "1BECTA Senco" <senco-forum at lists.becta.org.uk>
>Subject: Re: [senco-forum] Death
>Date: Sun, 11 Feb 2007 23:19:01 -0000
>
>I have taught several students who knew that death was likely to be soon 
>for them.
>
>Ands each one wanted to "grab what they could of life" - experience 
>everything they could before the end came for them.
>
>And they also wanted to be like everybody else - do the same things and 
>share the same experiences.  And they all kept going full out living life 
>for as long as they could - trying to ignore their various conditions - 
>when their parents - and the school staff - were actually wanting to keep 
>them safe and sought to limit any risk in their lives.
>
>They wanted to be on the school bus - not picked up by parents - they 
>wanted to camp - travel abroad - party - drink - and one hoped he would 
>live long enough for sex!
>
>And I suspect that most of us would go for the "safe option" - as I did - 
>more than once - until you face your own demise - and you appreciate just 
>what those children were asking for - to taste everything life had to offer 
>before their brief lives came to an end.
>
>I would now support any child's wishes in these circumstances - and 
>hopefully try to retain - at least for a while - what I saw as the 
>sustaining links.
>
>They will have their "wishes" for such a short time - and being protective 
>does not let them at least try all the things they actually wish to do.
>
>Regards
>
>Ruth - who also thinks that they might try some poetry too - because there 
>is a lot out there that will reassure some students that they are not the 
>first - nor the only people to feel as they do - "When I have fears that I 
>may cease to be" - "To strive, to seek, to find - and not to yield" - "How 
>will fare the world whose wonder was the very proof of me" - "Rage, rage 
>against the dying of the light"  etc etc etc
>
>
>----- Original Message ----- From: "Biff Crabbe" <ba at biffc.vispa.com>
>To: "KEVIN HEALY" <kevinhealy at btinternet.com>; 
><senco-forum at lists.becta.org.uk>
>Sent: Sunday, February 11, 2007 8:41 PM
>Subject: Re: [senco-forum] Death
>
>
>>Our Service supported a Year 11 girl with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (type not
>>then determined) last year.  She also wanted to go on to FE, rather than
>>stay on at her school's sixth form.
>>
>>We supported that choice, because it was what she wanted to do.  Although 
>>we
>>become particularly concerned to provide caring support for a young person
>>in these circumstances, it's inevitably tinged with a desire to protect.
>>But colleagues who have (far too much) experience of working with children
>>who have terminal illnesses often report that the child wants to remain
>>engaged in education, following as normal a path as possible, until it
>>becomes impossible to do so.
>>
>>Without making light of the subject of death, which is destiny for all of
>>us, I'm still left wondering whether a forum thread entitled 'Death' is an
>>improvement on the threads that you're fed up with.
>>
>>Regards
>>
>>Biff Crabbe
>>
>>
>>----- Original Message -----
>>From: "KEVIN HEALY" <kevinhealy at btinternet.com>
>>To: <senco-forum at lists.becta.org.uk>
>>Sent: Sunday, February 11, 2007 5:13 PM
>>Subject: [senco-forum] Death
>>
>>
>>>I am getting very fed up with certain strands taking over SENCO Forum.
>>Can we please get back to those we work with and their needs.
>>>   I have a Year 11 girl who has Ehlers-Danloss type 4.  For thosw who
>>don't know and this will be almost everyone on the forum, I only learnt
>>about it when she came to us.  This condition is genetic, where parents
>>genes determine it.
>>>   This is a degenerative condition, where there is bleeding under the
>>skin, dislocation and strokes which obviously affect functioning.  We work
>>closely with the specialists, and our young person and her family are
>>determined to carry on as normal.  At her last annual review we discussed
>>the move from Year 11 to the future.  Sh eprefers the local FE college but
>>the course she has chosen will not be supported, we have suggested our 
>>joint
>>6th form with our " partner school", she wants to go to college, in my 
>>heart
>>of hearts I know she needs to stay with people who know her.
>>>   Don't think I am criticising our local college, they have done 
>>>fantastic
>>work with loads of SEN students.  My problem is this student could die
>>tomorrow, at school we are ready having had 3 students die in the past 4
>>years, however where do I direct her ?
>>>   To an Fe college of 2000 where she is unknown, or to a joint 6th form 
>>>of
>>150, where her needs are known, but which she tells me she would not like 
>>to
>>go to as she wants to go to college.
>>>   Lets get back to what really is why we are doing what we are doing.
>>>   Sue
>>>   P.S. her parents, Mum and sister are teachers and brother is in Iraq, 
>>>so
>>we are also contending with that, are ambivalent about the whole thing.
>>>   Sue
>>>
>>>
>>>--
>>>No virus found in this incoming message.
>>>Checked by AVG Free Edition.
>>>Version: 7.5.441 / Virus Database: 268.17.35/680 - Release Date:
>>10/02/2007 21:15
>>>
>>>
>>
>>
>>
>
>
>

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