[senco-forum] How to respond to apparently autistic adults

It is the most difficult conundrum. But I consider that it would have been in order to have made very obvious non-verbal signals to him and his companions for hush (turn?to look?straight at him and, with a slight smile and pleasant widening of the eyes, put finger to lips and then hands to ears, and a shake of th head from side side. But not with a frown or expression of annoyance -- try to show an empathy?and a tolerant expression. If he doesn't respond (and he might, because,?as an adult, he should by now?have had?a geat deal of experience of such social messages and?should have gotten to recognise them if he has had a sound specilaist developmental programme when younger). Depends how severly he is affected of course.

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And, if?this does not work?-- one of his companions should be using, familair to him, strategies to quell his enthusiasm. Or one of them should take him out discreetly for a break and explain (if possible)?the need for quiet.

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It may not be a complete answer, and what I suggest may not work or be practical. Much depends upon his social companions as much as he himself -- they also need to be sensitive to the needs of the audiance and performers -- and to have well rehearsed strategies to accomodate these sensitive social situations. The social?training provided for autisitc young people at school must always inculde parents and siblings, etc. And many families become the main social trainers -- and actually introduce the programmes into mainstream schools themselves?-- that address and rehearse aproppriate?social behaviours. Such families would go to many lengths to avoid such embarrasment as you (and he) endured that evening. They often have to fight LAs, regrettably, for funded support for such programmes and specialist teachers well experienced in delivering them -- which have to be introduced early and as school-life long programmes. 

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But not all families with ASD members are so aware and sensitively skilled. It isn't a perfect world.??But you do have a right to show an adult -- or his adult companons -- that you wish him to desist his?socially inappropriate?behaviour. And it is of constructive assistance to him?and his companions to demonstrate that not all autistic behavious can be merely tolerated because the person is not instinctively aware that his behaviour is inappropriate. But?signalling with tolerance and a show of empathy is?very difficult I know -- and easier said than done in a darkened auditoriam. And it takes courage to make these gestures. You can never be sure of the reaction form him or his companions. I sympathise.

Brendan King

-----Original Message-----

From: Kate Barnes 

To: 'senco forum' 

Sent: Sat, Nov 3 1:26 PM

Subject: [senco-forum] How to respond to apparently autistic adults

I would appreciate the comments of those on the forum with experience of working   autistic adults.  At a recent classical concert I went to, the youg man behind me started to hum   along loudly, during one of the quietest parts of the violin solo. This is not   usual behaviour at classical music concerts, where even a slight rustle can   bring glares from those around you!  I had already noticed this young man during the interval as his behaviour was   slightly "different" and wondered if he was autistic.   I was unsure how to respond to his humming. Which to be honest, I found   absolutely ruined that part of the concert for me. Is the problem my lack of   tolerance - should everyone be free to enjoy the concert in their own way?   Or should I make allowances in case he's disabled by autism and not able to   understand or see the need to conform?   Perhaps I should have clearly and firmly signalled to him to be quiet - was it   unfair to expect him to pick up the subtle social signals of glances and frowns   from those around him?  Or then again maybe I should complain the concerts organisers for allowing him   in to the concert at all...  Obviously I am trying to open up debate here; but I genuinly wasnt sure what   response would be most helpful to him.  Kate  

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