[senco-forum] RE: Parents who make allegations about what has been said...

This is an interesting and potentially constructive thread... the difficulty
of coming to terms with a different view of your child can be enormous...
not just emotionally but in practical terms too... Parents are not at
school.  They see one child and do not see how that child is when with peers
and teachers at school.  It may be that all sides are right really, as
behaviour can change depending on circumstance.  Or learning behaviours
might not be evident in the home situation to an untrained eye.  Take
auditory processing for example... a child might function reasonably well
away from the hubbub of the classroom but have difficulty against background
noise.

We have met many, many parents who find it hard not only to accept but also
to understand and manage their children's differences so that the child was
positively supported both at home and school.  I used to spend hours trying
to explain to parents who were wanting to know and understand why it was or
what it was that their children found hard and how they could support at
home.  In the end it was far more effective to invite the parent in to see
for themselves.  First-hand experience is a wonderful teacher.  Parents who
were blaming the school for their child's failure come round and become our
best allies.  The Thank You card that one particularly aggressive father (on
first meeting only) wrote as his son went on to success from huge failure
was deeply moving.  Aggression had been born of defence.  The experiences
that that family had been through in  another country were truly horrendous
- drugs mis-prescribed to do one thing to their son.  More drugs to
counteract the first drugs.  And the fallout from all of that.  Recently the
parent of a very young child whose social behaviours leave quite a bit to be
desired was unhappy at our suggestion of home and school liaison - taking it
as  slur on her parenting skills, which it was not.  She spent a morning at
school to see for herself how her son was amongst his peers and how he was
capable of independence if this was an expectation.  She left the school
agreeing with us that things could be modified to alter behaviour, and
offering suggestions as to how this could be facilitated at both home and
school, as she had seen her son behave quite differently at school. Parents
are our biggest resource when on side.

On the other hand one parent attacked, in writing, the professionalism of
one new member of my team ... we invited them to a meeting to show them our
planning and that their allegations were simply unfounded and unacceptable -
our planning and teaching in the handover from one member of staff to
another were not haphazard as had been written.  For those rare and
unpleasant moments, good quality records do come in handy.

Philippa

On 10/15/07, June Marriott <june_marriott at yahoo.co.uk> wrote:
>
> "This had nothing to do with processing difficulties. One of the parents
> was
> a step parent. Mum was anxious and Stepdad was trying to prove what a
> good
> replacement he was for the real father."
>
>   Congratulations. For quite possibly the first time in my life, I am
> speechless with fury - and you're not even talking about me! What an
> absolutely appalling and offensive attitude you have towards parents and
> step-parents in particular.
>
>   Sincerely,
>
>   June
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
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