[Bulk] [senco-forum] Bullying by parents

I(Well said Amanda,)

I've been following this strain with some interest, although I will admit 
that I haven't read every single email as thoroughly as I should have.

I feel extrememly sad that any parent should feel it necessary to be this 
aggressive with any care professional and I was a little perturbed by what 
appeared to be an enormously over-sensitive reproach from one poster 
regarding the term step father. My brief readings of these emails amde me 
wonder, slightly, who it was that had the problem.

Returning to the issue of the relationship between parents of children with 
SEN and the professionals that we deal with I have to put forward my view as 
a parent and as an educational professional. I hope that this may go some 
way to explaining why some parents are becoming more and more assertive 
about their 'rights' regarding the health and welfare of their children.

I do understand that this is mainly based upon personal experience, but I 
also know that I am not the only parent who had to work hard for over 7 
years to get the support that my son deserves as a right. The process that 
parents go through to get support is extremely taxing and trying. I believe 
that most of the reason that we did as well as we have is due to the fact 
that both my wife and I are articulate and intelligent adults with 
experience in education. I am sure that there are many other parents that 
are going through the fight for support that are not as knowledgable, 
articulate, intelligent or experienced as we were when my son was fighting 
for appropriate support.

In the dealings with the education and health care professionals it is 
normal for the parents to be in that extremely difficult position of knowing 
everything about their child, but knowing very little about the processes 
that are in place to 'diagnose' or remediate the various problems that that 
child may have. This can be very scary for parents and can be threatening.

Parents also find themselves as intermediaries between various sources of 
advice that can be professional and can be social in terms of what others 
around them think. An extremely nice single parent of a child that we are 
currently looking at as being on the Autistic Spectrum is having great 
troubles because her family keep telling her that there is nothing wrong and 
that she is mollycoddling him.

I am not surprised that the numbers of parents that are taking things more 
into their own hands is increasing. There are times when what we experienced 
was nothing short of a battle between the system and us. It is unfortunate 
that the Senco, as the main intermediary between the system and the parents, 
should be the one who gets the worst brunt of the aggression that is felt 
toward the system as a whole.

Those parents who are better informed now have access to even more advice 
and information regarding the care of their child and the conditions that 
they believe their child to have. While I think that getting as much 
information about the condition a child has is a good idea, this can have a 
detrimental effect as the advice that they receive is not always the best 
that it could be and is open to interpretation and misinterpretation. I do 
know of instances where this kind of advice has lead to parents making 
unreasonable demands.

As parents we have developed more and more of a need to be pushy. We have 
actualy been advised to be pushy by certain organisations. Experience has 
shown us that unless we push we will ot get the process moving forward. We 
have been subject to delays in assessment, to medical professionals not 
being available for long periods, to people in the system 'losing' 
information, to missed appointments and to more delays.

I know of parents whose experiences have been far worse than my own and, 
even worse, there have been a number of cases in my own area where the whole 
chase has turned out to be pointless because children who are clearly 
deserving of a statement of Special Educational Needs have had their 
statements turned down due to the fact that they have made progress!

I do not think that there is ever a justification for aggression or bullying 
by anybody.

Tim Rupp
----- Original Message ----- 
From: <BJKLtd at aol.com>
To: <senco-forum at lists.becta.org.uk>
Sent: Friday, October 19, 2007 3:15 PM
Subject: Re: [Bulk] [senco-forum] Bullying by parents

> I(Well said Amanda,)
>
> Ahh but Amanda,
> I'm sorry to say you're a  teacher, teachers/Sencos don't have feelings,
> we're not human "beings" are  we?? If you listen to the responses to many 
> of
> the postings you would realise  something. Parents can do and say what 
> they
> like, they feel they are  justified in behaving anyway they want to 
> because
> they believe they are  dealing with robots. We don't exist outside school.
> The SEN professional's  sole purpose according to some is to not to have 
> the
> interests of the  children at heart so we can empty the schools of 
> children
> with SEN. That way  we will keep our jobs and stay in our school's SEN 
> dept.
> playing bingo all  day.
> Cheers
>
> Sheridan
>
>
>
> In response to the above:
>
> If you accept the post of a Senco - and the management points which go 
> with
> it  - its your choice.
>
> NO parent would choose to have a child with SEN - and if there were no
> children with SEN you could play Bingo all day - you wouldnt have a job!
>
> It is no wonder that you perceive parents to be aggressive -  with that 
> sort
> of  comment its hardly surprising.
>
> You have a nice half-term, us parents continue to care for our children 
> 24/7.
>
>
>
>
>
> 