[Bulk] [senco-forum] Bullying by parents

Here here Ruth! I fully support what you have written.
I have had difficult meetings in the past with LA and parents however I have at the start of meeting always said that the focus is the child and if not invited to the meeting then we should focus on what is best for the individual child being discussed. I have meeting with parents before they join us in September to discuss transision issues and concerns, again in September to discuss how SEN involves you (the parents) and the year 9 SAT study skills and year 11  GCSE study skills on top of review meetings.. These just set the tone of their child's time with me and make contcat between parents myself and me to parents so much easier.
Hope everyone is enjoying half term.
Best wishes
Judith Wolfe

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Message Received: Oct 21 2007, 11:35 PM
From: "Ruth Newbury" 
To: senco-forum at lists.becta.org.uk
Cc: 
Subject: RE: [Bulk] [senco-forum] Bullying by parents

I have never been bullied by a parent - I have had critical parents - and
ones who may not have liked what and how I did things - but in the end they
have invariably been able to say that what we did was right/or helped their
child/or they could see the changes etc etc etc.

I was an infant junior trained teacher - who was luckt enough to have an ex
primary school head teacher as my education tutor - a realistic man - who
spent a lot of time telling it how it was - and saying that we could read
all that education theory by ourselves and learn it for exams - but we would
find the history of education of minimal use in the classroom! He was a
wonderful man - who disrupted my classroom lesson on teaching practice by
bringing me a present of a windy windy pencil sharpener - and all teaching
ceased whilst he and the children sharpened every pencil in site.

I moved to SEN by accident - I taught in two primary schools where a child
never left with a reading age lower than their chronological age - and on
moving to teach A level musical history whilst I had babies - I was appalled
to find that in secondary school there were lots - and I mean lots - of
children who could not read - or write - as well as the eight year olds I
had taught so recently.

When I returned to work full time - I went as a HOD in an upper school - to
an enlightened head who offered me a department of whatever I wanted to call
it - to help all those who couldn't do it - and this was in the days of the
wording remedial being the kindest one around!

And there I stayed.

My problem was not aggressive parents - it was disappearing ones - they
never came - they could not face more bad news.

And I got them into school by first of all having special needs meetings for
parents down the pub - and we then moved into school with wine - beer and
ash trays.

I have always had special needs events each year - for both new parents and
for continuing ones.

I think that it is crucial to tell parents what happens in any good school -
what will happen automatically - because it is good practice.

And you tell them what you can add for their child - from within the schools
and your resources - how you can make small changes to make it more right
for individuals.

You tell them what statementing will do too.

And you also tell them what you wont be able to do - because it is beyond
the resourcing levels.

And I have always rung my parents up every month - or each half term to
update them - and I have given them all my phone number - at home - and said
contact me if ever you are worried - and that I would rather sort out what
you think are little silly things - than let any little thing become a great
big problem that I can't sort out.

And very few parents ever disabused this service - and if they went on too
long - more than half an hour - I sometimes used to put the kitchen timer on
and say that my chips were ready and that I had to go - but not very often
either.

And we got my students jobs when they left - those who had nothing were
walked down the local roads with me - and they went in and enquired for
vacancies - and said that I was outside to vouch for them - and I did -
sometimes with qualifications as to their punctuality etc - but they all
started off with a job.

I could go on - but what I can tell you is that I still miss it all - and
that some schools are not so good for SEN students - and that there are
still too many unhappy children out there for whom education is not what it
should be - because the one thing I did have was happy children - most of
the time - because when staff see that it all works very few of them are not
prepared to make adaptions as to what students really need.

We still need to "fire and inspire" - students - and teachers - and most of
all teach those educational mandarins a thing or two that good t6eaching is
not defined by a National Curriculum - that what stays with us are the
special things that teachers did for us - the days out - the inspiring
charachters who could fire us up - and that those of us particularly in the
SEN area spend our days trying to m"make a difference" for the benefit of
those who find that they can't do it as easily as their peers!

And parents who see what you do - and are trying to do - will support you up
to the hilt!

So show them!

Regards

Ruth