[Bulk] [senco-forum] Bullying by parents

Surely half of the problem lies in the people involved and their view of the 
situation. What one recipient might regard as aggressive could be regarded 
as assertive by another. A parent who feels that he/she is standing his/her 
ground might be regarded as aggressive or bullying by the SENco involved.

Parents often find themselves having to be defensive and often feel as if 
the situation is beyond their control, which can be very scary. Good parents 
that are interested purely in the welfare of their children can be extremely 
frustrated by the whole situation of going for a statement or any other 
forms of help and support. This can be made worse when, as on occasion 
happens, after months and years of trying for a statement or other provision 
their application is rejected,

One of the biggest parts of this is, of course, the fact that the SENco is 
the face that they see. The SENco is the school's representative to the 
parents and represents the education system. When a parent feels let down, 
disenfranchised or frustrated by the education system it is the SENco that 
bears the brunt and this is extremely unfortunate, especially when SENco, as 
a job, already has so many stresses and strains associated with it.

This does not excuse bad behaviour and, as has rightly been said, there are 
bad parents and aggressive parents and abusive parents. We experience them 
in many areas of teaching. I am not going to excuse the behaviour of those 
parents whose behaviour is so rude. One parent that I met threatened to 
punch my lights out and literally dragged me to the head teacher's office 
because I had told her daughter to sit down and pay attention to the lesson. 
This was in my first term of my first year of teaching.

I can't answer the question f when assertive behaviour becomes aggressive. I 
can say 2 things. Firstly, we should not have to stand up to aggressive or 
abusive parents on our own, no matter what our job or where it occurs. One 
problem that we may have at the moment is that the parents feel that they 
have so much power at the moment that they are allowed to be aggressive and 
abusive. Many certainly don't seem to respect the education system at the 
moment. Secondly, I am sure that we are all very understanding as 
professionals, but some more understanding, support and information provided 
to harrassed parents who have their child 24 hours a day could lead to a 
better understanding and relationship such that the incidences of aggression 
and even assertiveness could be reduced.

And I am sure that if the money that was needed for children with Special 
Needs were available at the right time and that interventions were put in 
place as soon as the problem was identified then this would solve a lot of 
problems too. Just as ensuring that all of those children who deserved 
statements actually got them within weeks of being 'diagnosed' would help.

Tim 'The idiot' Rupp.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Sheridan" <sheridan.sharp1 at btinternet.com>
To: "'Tim Rupp'" <tgrupp at ntlworld.com>; <BJKLtd at aol.com>; 
<senco-forum at lists.becta.org.uk>
Sent: Sunday, October 21, 2007 10:18 PM
Subject: RE: [Bulk] [senco-forum] Bullying by parents

>
>
> There is a difference between being aggressive and assertive.
>
> That was the point of my question to the forum regarding the bullying of
> professionals.
>
> Where is the line when a parent is regarded as aggressive/ bullying 
> rather
> than an assertive parent?
>
> No parent has answered this question yet.
>
> Cheers
>
> Sheridan
>
>
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