[senco-forum] a delicate subject

I used to do a lot of home visits to parents - mostly because they would
never come into school.

Our EWO used to give me a list of parents - that under no circumstances
should I accept a cup of tea from them - unless I wanted to catch something
very nasty!

However - I still take some pride in the fact that I was able to visit our
local travellers site - alone and unaccompanied - and in my car - without
anything happening to the car - or to me. And this is a site that when the
police visit - they go with about 20 of them - plus the dogs - and probably
a lot else!  I hasten to add that this was because I was visiting "the chief
gypsies" (not because I was an especially wonderful person) - who were the
only people who could get our traveller students into school - for a few
weeks - before they said that they would be off strawberry picking - or
whatever happened to be in season and need harvesting!

And it was there that I got my "best cups of tea"! - and there too - where I
could have eaten a meal off the floor.  Their housekeeping where cleaning
was concerned put me "to shame">

Regards

Ruth

-----Original Message-----
From: Jean Dowding [mailto:jeanld at fish.co.uk] 
Sent: 31 January 2008 13:59
To: Ruth Newbury
Cc: 'Luisa Pinnell'; senco-forum at lists.becta.org.uk
Subject: RE: [senco-forum] a delicate subject

Thank you, Ruth; a timely reminder that not all difficulties some children
have in learning while at school are actually because of difficulties with
the learning process.

Your penultimate paragraph reminds me of something that an EWO once told
me about the extremely affluent area where the secondary school I taught
in was situated.  Most of the houses that he had to visit were large,
beautifully furnished and carpeted downstairs - with bare floorboards,
little if any furniture and parents and children sleeping on a blanket or
sleeping bag upstairs.  It was all a matter of "show" and living to the
limit of income and beyond - and no-one was invited upstairs!

This was a good few years ago, but consumerism being what it is now and
money becoming tight, something similar may well still be happening in
families where adults have basically good parenting skills; not to mention
the families where they don't!

Regards

Jean

 Luisa
>
> In my time I have had to teach people how to wash - to bath - to use a
> tampon - to decide whether they are circumcised or not - you name it - my
> team have done it.
>
> If they have understanding parents - it is easiest to go through them to
> start with - and often they will solve the problem for you.
>
> However, the majority of my students who needed this sort of help - came
> from homes where this sort of help was not proffered.
>
> I have always offered students this sort of help 1-1 - with a brief chat
> with me about the problem - and more rarely - a student coming to ask me
> for
> help.
>
> We were lucky enough to be able to use a small staff room that was really
> for the PE staff - with a shower - toilet - and lots of privacy - and no
> students could come on them unawares.
>
> I have only ever had one student who would not admit that they had a
> problem
> of this sort - everyone else wanted it solved - as quickly as possible.
>
> You may well find that it leads on to other problems - like underwear that
> is worn for weeks - and the child has only those - we used to do some
> students washing for them too - whilst they had a shower you could put
> things through a quick wash - and tumble dry them too!  You may also find
> that these are people who never do PE either -= because of the state of
> what
> they wear underneath their school uniform - and the state their skin is on
> their backs.
>
> WE also gave them a choice of staff to help them - and I had a number of
> staff who were very sympathetic to their problems - and would be the
> person
> they dealt with - the most important part of it all was matching the child
> to a member of staff they would like to help them deal with the problem.
>
> I have also had some of the sixth form - who heard individuals read - deal
> with this sort of problem without needing my help - if the person they
> were
> hearing read had this kind of problem.
>
> And despite what you think about us being an affluent society - I have
> stopped being surprised by children - who don't know what a sheet is on
> their bed - who don't have soap just there in the bathroom - let alone a
> toothbrush etc etc etc.
>
> And again - its about making children happy and comfortable with
> themselves
> - without which not much learning is going to take place.
>
> Regards
>
> Ruth
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: senco-forum-bounces at lists.becta.org.uk
> [mailto:senco-forum-bounces at lists.becta.org.uk] On Behalf Of Luisa Pinnell
> Sent: 30 January 2008 21:16
> To: senco forum
> Subject: [senco-forum] a delicate subject
>
>
> I have got several pupils with statements of SEN, in years 7&8, who have
> problems with personal hygiene and table manners (handling cutlery). Three
> of them have global development delay. I like to think that we are a
> caring
> school, our kids are very understanding and helpful in general,  but these
> girls are getting more and more isolated.
> Has anyone had similar problems? Have you got any suggestions on how to
> deal
> with this-other than through PSHE? We have a good PSHE programme, but
> these
> girls need a little extra help. I'm thinking of starting a support group,
> if
> you have any ideas or suggestions or if you have run a similar programme I
> would love to hear from you.
>
> Thanks
>
> Luisa
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